Bangers and Mash: Running the Gastric Gauntlet in Bangkok!

 So was up bright and early at 6.30am this morning (cycling conditioning obviously having kicked in) but had to wait til 7.30am for breakfast. Whilst I was waiting, bizarrely saw Mr Tam again who was coming to pick someone up! Striking out into the city, I made for the ferry station, a short walk away from the hotel (even I didn’t get lost!). Was very proud of myself in managing to figure out which one the local boat was and where to stand to wait for it (these things are important when you’re travelling on your own!!) and, for the grand price of 14 baht, I rode the ferry down to where the Royal Palace is. Am not sure whether it’s the humidity or that I just wasn’t wearing a hat, but it felt a darn sight hotter in Bangkok than in HCMC or Phnom Penh. I was wearing my shorts and t-shirt and, on approaching the Royal Palace, realised my schoolboy error so had to make a swift tactical purchase of a sarong (a fetching red cotton one with elephants on it) so I’d be allowed in.The Royal Palace was absolutely stunning, very bling! Despite the relatively early hour, it was absolutely HEAVING with people so I didn’t stay all that long, just enough to work my way round, say hello to the Emerald Buddha and try and take some decent pictures without people’s heads in them! After the Royal Palace, I headed over to see the reclining buddha – wow! Very impressive – it’s absolutely enormous!! After shuffling round there and fortunately regaining my shoes from the racks outside, I was almost done with overstuffed tourist sights and feeling a little jaded from the heat, so decided that a little light shopping was in order. Firstly, though, it was time for lunch and – as I headed back to the pier to catch the ferry to the MPK shopping centre (travelling like a pro now!), I was finally seduced by the street food so threw caution (and hopefully not my intestinal control) to the wind and indulged in a sausage on a stick thing and some fried spring rolls, all washed down with coconut juice served straight from the nut! A bargain at 20baht each, less than a dollar! (less than the Imodium I’m hoping I wont need!).

So after chompage, caught the ferry to the sky train (TWO forms of local transit in a day – am I an awesomely independent traveller now or what?!) for a short ride to the Siam Square shopping centre. In the train, sat opposite this couple who looked completely stoned, the man having mildly intriguing stick-thin arms and the woman who was the absolute definition of “hippie”. Fab. So, after 2 wks of holding back my capitalist urges, I fiinally started buying stuff and got down to some serious haggling! God knows how many cushion covers I ended up buying, but at one stage I was negotiating to buy 2 cushion covers for 175 bht and was intent on beating her down from 180bht. I won out in the end but as there are 35 baht in the dollar, we were haggling over a couple cents! But it was great fun and I had a great time with lots of laughs and humour all round! Other items in my haggling haul included another couple cushion covers, a fake Omega watch and some Chanel diamond earrings. After that, I needed some restorative coffee – suitably invigorated, I decided to go get my hair done as I was fed up of looking like absolute cack for the last 2 weeks! Fortunately, the “startled cat dragged through hedge backwards” look that I’ve been championing over the last couple of weeks didn’t prove to be permanent and I’m happy to report that I still scrubbed up reasonably well! Buoyed by not looked like sh*te for the first time in 2 wks, I then got carried away and ended up buying this clay pot thing that I saw the man carving (I’m a sucker for the artistic process!). I kicked into haggle overdrive with this one and managed to get an extra one thrown in! Again, all good fun but God knows how I’m going to get it home.

On the recommendation of the pot man (not the drug type, the clay type!), I then went to another place via tuk tuk, which was a shop “local centre” selling Thai specialties that was having a 30% off sale. I can resist everything except temptation so here was the place where I finally ended up buying 12yds of purple thai silk for less than $300! (hopefully enough to replace my wardrobe cover in the bedroom) Also a little crystal elephant thing that also functions as a jewellery box that I’ll probably look at and wonder what on earth I was thinking when I get it home.

Then back to the hoteal via taxi (long way round cos he got lost but still cost less than $4! – I love this town!). Dumped the bags then headed out intending to grab a quick dinner. However, the restaurant that was recommended by the hotel was shut so took life in own hands and had proper street food (it was obviously the day for it). Found this noodle stall outside a 7 Eleven near the hotel and entered into elaborate miming with the lady to try figure out what the options were. After much oinking, clucking, mooing and grunting, we settled on pork – and it was delicious! Cost 30 baht (less than a dollar) for egg noodles, thinly sliced pork, dumplings and green stuff. YUM! Also sampled some other stuff on way home (the die’s been cast now re the squits (fingers, not legs, crossed)) including something that I bit into as a sample from the lady seller. One of the other vendors standing nearby faked a chicken scream, much to my surprise, so I guess what I was eating was fried egg of some sort! I must have looked startled cos the woman seller then wet herself laughing! Deciding I’d probably now exhausted my luck with street food and this was a sign, I headed back to the hotel for a shower before my thai massage at 8pm (300 baht). After that, time to finish packing and head to the airport and farewell Thailand!!