So, dear reader, obviously if you made it through my blog of our Patagonian adventure, you’ll have noticed that i have a tendency towards clumsiness. My prediliction for mishaps actually came as quite a surprise to me too, as i never realised i was quite so accident-prone! Anyway, just for Sam’s amusement (so much for not laughing at the misfortune of others!), here’s the Top Ten list of Patagonian mishaps and missteps:
10: Hitting my head on the overhead bin plus bashing my thigh on the seat armrest on the flight from Bariloche to El Calafate
9: Headbutting the lampshade in the Lizard Cafe in Puerto Madryn
8: Treading on Sam’s feet whilst wearing crampons on Glaciar Torre
7: Pulling my leg muscle on the way to Glacier Grey
6: Falling over (and twisting my ankle) during the glacier walk on Glaciar Torre.
5: Walking into Sam’s tripod at Punta Norte (even though i still blame Sam for this one!)
4: Twatting my head with my trekking poles as we dumped our stuff onto our bunks at Refugio Las Torres, right in front of the guy who was our host and had showed us to our rooms who then tried (not very successfully) not to wet himself laughing
3: Catching my foot on a branch lying on the ground, and going arse over tit whilst on my way for a last night time visit to the latrine at the Poincenot campsite; slammed into the ground and cut my knee, thus adding to the Triumvirate of Perfect Misery that i was due to suffer later during the Camping Night From Hell.
2: Almost knocking my teeth out with my trekking pole whilst trekking in Fitz Roy; it just got stuck in the step in front of me, which i didnt realise until my face slammed into it at full speed.
AND IN 1st PLACE: A full-on teeth rattling head twat on the ceiling of the catamaran across Lago Pehoe, minutes after having scornfully laughed at someone else who’d done exactly the same thing.
These, of course, were the edited highlights. Ones that didnt make the list include innumerable trippings over rocks, tree roots, branches, pebbles, my own feet, grains of sand, leaves, twigs, molecules of air and absolutely nothing at all. Also not included were the multiple finger burnings acquired during my active duty as camp chef plus injuries sustained during the descent of multiple bunkbeds of various heights. After the latest shin abrasion (resulting from a particularly evil bunkbed in El Calafate), i finally got smart and bagged the bottom bunk, leaving Sam to work out how to get down from the top, with no ladder, without sustaining personal injury.
The Sam Clumsiness Index
Feet slipped into river at Poicenot campsite whilst collecting water.
