Then all you need to do is go to IKEA on a Sunday morning to witness the full spectrum of human misery and torment on coupledom display. I went first thing, to avoid the maddening crowds, so – theoretically – everyone was still “fresh” in their day. It made absolutely no difference. Oh. My. God. Why are men even allowed into IKEA? Its obvious – by the lack of single, unaccompanied men ANYWHERE in the entire store – that all men would rather watch Eat, Pray, Love than spend a single minute in there under their own volition. I observed the full gamut of emotions from full-on raging arguments (“Don’t stand there and say that i didn’t say ONE positive thing the whole time we’ve been in here! I’m tired and I’m in pain”) to the on-the-edge (“It’s FINE, whatever you want, I don’t really care”) to the abject despair (“……radio silence..….”), reducing to trailing morosely behind their significant others and wondering when this hell on earth is ever going to end. It was really quite uplifting.
The main reason for my visit was to finally get a full length floor standing mirror, so i could admire the pounds i gained back at the Uma Resort and then wave them goodbye again, courtesy of my faithful slacker tracker. Mirror duly acquired, I – of course – succumbed to the siren lure of IKEA and stayed awhile in the Marketplace. I cheerfully took my time in soft furnishings, throwing cushions that didn’t match at all into my bright yellow bag in a devil-may-care manner. I stayed awhile in the most baffling of sections for men, the scented candles and outdoor lanterns department, and also paid due diligence to photo frames and art, picking up some cool black frames for my pics from Bhutan. I finished off my single shopping soiree with a quick flourish in Outdoor Furniture (a low black garden chair and a white metal bench) – and then proceeded to spend the next 30mins or so trying to figure out how to get it all in the car!!
I was obviously in some sort of nesting mode, because then it was off to Home Depot to get some plants to FINALLY get some life back into my little patio outside. Without thinking too deeply about how i was going to get it all home (i’ll figure something out), i ended up with 4 tall pink foxgloves, a lavender bush, some bedding plants, a large hanging basket of azaleas (i think) plus a trowel and a weeder thing. They all looked fab and the tall foxgloves are absolutely perfect, sitting on top of the white metal bench, to give me some privacy behind their floral hedginess. I wont bore you with all the mathematical permutations of how i managed to get all that lot in around the humungous mirror and assorted odds and sods, but i did (albeit with *ahem* somewhat reduced rear visibility on the drive back home) and proceeded to spent a couple of hours replanting, rearranging and generally feeling very proud of my own creativity. It actually looks great – a little bit of an English garden, right next to AT&T Ballpark. I’d better take a lot of pictures tomorrow, before I forget to water it cos its probably never going to look this good again!!
