….alas, does not work. While the concept may be, indeed, brilliant, it is, in fact, totally impossible to implement. I know this because I spent a half hour devising, revising and finally demising said game this afternoon. Not sure what inspired me to come up with the idea. I blame my New Year’s Resolution of giving up alcohol, caffeine and sugar in preparation for this summer’s Big Adventure. Nothing says “cat hopscotch” as much as a sudden paucity of Cadbury Roses Strawberry Dreams in your system.
Now this will be a fairly short blog, primarily cos I only have 48 mins of battery life left in my computer and I can’t be arsed to go and get the power lead. Its all the way over there and the exercise part of my resolution starts tomorrow, so til then, you’re stuck with a quickie.
The topic of said short missive? The ever-multiplying, blink and there’s another one, pack of fornicating felines collectively known as The Cats of Villa Ten Ten. Well, OK – perhaps that is a little harsh – of the currently TEN (TEN!) members of the furry troope, only two still retain the capacity for reproduction. One (Perry) because he’s the most recent addition to the gang, still in the awkward between-kitten years, so too young for The Visit. The other, Poon Star, a wily old bugger of a black cat who somehow managed to evade capture in his early years for bollocks-choppage, so now seems to have earned his rite of passage and gets to keep them – and the lady cats of the surrounding neighborhood perpetually up the fluff.
So…with that short pre-amble, its my pleasure to introduce to you more cats per square inch than is probably legal….
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| Going for his third consecutive win in the Stupidest Cat Competition, its Batty! Favorite trick – running in front of the car to force you to stop and say hello. |
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| The little purry kitten, Perry, and his adoptive father Harvey. Sometimes its hard to tell which one is Perry and which one is the rubbish bin. |
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| Umm… I think this one is TT |
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| I’d hazard a guess at Batty again, sneaking in for a second portrait photo by pretending to be his mum, Princess (aka The Bitch). Or it could be Princess. |
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| OK – this one is easy – its Scraggy |
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| And the old gentleman of the group, from the original Villa Ten Ten Gang of Four, its George |
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| Right then. Dodgy eye so this one has to be Harvey |
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| I know this one looks identical to the one above it but I’m assured this is, indeed, a different cat. Named Shushy, no less. |
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| For some reason, this one is called Ginge. |
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| And… last, but not least, the only cat who gets invited in for a dish of milk each night, its Poon Star! |
So then, with all our furry players now identified, let the worlds First Ever (and Last Ever) Game of Cat Hopscotch begin!! I won’t bore you with the rules (because I’d then have to make them up) but a thrilling time was had by all. Only mild bribery was required until the cats, and me, got bored and wandered off.
Which you, dear blogwatcher, are also now at liberty to do…
Loopy – did I get them all right? (Or have you acquired any more in the 48 minutes its taken me to write this ultimately pointless blog post?)
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| The original and – some might say, quite dull – childhood game of hopscotch. Obviously sketched out by someone who hasn’t played for several decades.. (ahem) |
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| The whistle blows to signify the start of the game and the players flood the pitch. |
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| Cat hopscotch in full throttle. A purring success. Just ignore those little crunchy bits they appear to be eating, Nope, no cheating at all here….They’re just the equivalent of half-time oranges for cats, is all…. |
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| A disturbance in the crowd distracts TT from his |
5 Comments
I take back everything I've ever said about you being the cat lady. Louise is definitely the queen of that but I think with this game you have become queen of off yer rocker, ask mumsie to pass the crown 😘
Happy New Year to you all.
it was a brave attempt at cat hopscotch, and with more cooperation from the feline teams would have been quite a spectacle! you seemed to capture beautifully the total gormlessness of Batti, i loved it! and i love how much you do to give us these fab blogs!and i loved the halftime orange equivalent… you are very very funny!! quite mad, but very funny!!! xxxxx
Crown has been passed ,Daniel, this blog more than any other, shows how we have to make our own entertainment on this little bit of an unrecognised island !!!! Well done girls, bet no one else has ever played this game ! xxxxxxx
I do want your kitchen though mumsie
I am still trying to figure out how the latest intruder has become Perry. I have tried all the combinations of champagne, Mason, etc but I know that the logic involved is escaping me. xxx