Paying my Backpacking dues with those Number Twos

My evolution into a fully-fledged, fearless backpacking ninja will take another important step (movement?) forward next week.   I’m heading off on Sunday for a week-long backpacking trip into Paria Canyon and Buckskin Gulch, 10 miles west of Page, Arizona, with a group called Women Who Explore Paria Canyon.  I had managed to snag the very last available slot a couple of weeks ago and its a little bonus trip that I hadn’t really been planning for.  Side note: I was originally going to be getting my varicose veins “done” but United Healthcare denied my pre-authorization as they deemed it “not medically necessary” –  which is actually kinda true, so I can’t really complain tbh.   From looking at the pictures, its going to be an absolutely spectacular hike, traversing through one of the longest slot canyons in the US, with dramatic towering walls of red rock and sandstone.  Unlike the Mt Rainier hike, its pretty much flat (yey!), with only a little bit of elevation gain and scrambling at the beginning and end of the hike.  Its a total of 40 miles over 5 days hiking, so its very very doable from both the distance and elevation perspective.  However, there are two main differences with this hike that will provide the fun and novelty elements that will satisfy my perverse need for Challenging New Experiences That I May Regret.

The first new aspect is that, because this hike is mainly through a slot canyon, we will be spending a decent chunk of time hiking in water – specifically the river that flows at the bottom of the canyon.  Now at this time of year, the water shouldn’t be more than ankle deep (at other times of year, after the winter melt or during rainier seasons, the water can come up to your thighs) but it does add an extra layer of spice to the overall proceedings.  Reading through a previous description of the route we’re taking, we will be crossing this river literally hundreds of times!  So that’s challenge 1 – hiking with wet feet for most of the trip.  But HOW?  I hear you cry.  How are you supposed to hike in water and not get terrible blisters?  Well, for a start, you do not hike in the same style of shoe that you would do normally – so my lovely new waterproof and solid hiking boots are being left at home in favor of a pair of beaten up, secondhand Men’s size 9.5 trail running shoes that I found in the returns section of REI (which I’d never discovered before and which is AWESOME, btw!).    The goal here is to have shoes that will allow the water to drain out of them quickly – so think mesh style uppers, while still having enough grip on the soles to navigate the terrain.  Because you want them to drain and dry quickly, anything waterproof is NOT recommended as it will hold the water in, once they get flooded (which they will cos the water level will come above the top of your shoes).  We were also advised to try and get second-hand non, expensive shoes as this trip will pretty much trash them, and they are likely to be going in the garbage at the end of the hike!

The other component to help prevent blisters (and also help keep your feet warm) are knee high neoprene socks that are waterproof.  I’ve never worn socks like this before (usually for hiking I wear wool socks) so this is also going to be a new experience.  While they won’t keep your feet completely dry while hiking through water for extended periods of time, they should help – and also help keep the sand out from your feet too.  The styling of these socks can get pretty crazy (are you supposed to really not give a shit what you look like when you wear these??) but I chickened out of buying the completely ridiculously patterned ones and instead went for a classic black.

So – that is novelty #1 that the trip leader went to pains to explain to me as we were discussing whether this would be the Right Trip for Me.  Novelty #2 is more of the attention grabber and probably the only thing that you will remember from this entire blog post.  As you can see from the picture, we will be hiking in an area that is dry and desert-like with very low humidity – in these types of arid environments, organic matter takes a long time to decompose because there are relatively few microbes around to break stuff down.  Because of this and because of the very narrow river canyons we will be trekking through, we will be practicing a very strict version of the Leave No Trace principles – https://lnt.org/why/7-principles/ where anything that we pack in, we will be packing out.  Even if the stuff we were packing in was originally inside us and then outside us, we will be packing it out.  In other words, poop.  We will be Leaving No Turd Behind.  Whatever comes out of us, comes with us.  What this means is that, for most of next week, when the need for Number Twos strikes, I will be pooping in a bag.  A WAG bag, to be precise – which stands for Waste Activated Granules (that was a fun Google search, I can tell you).   See?  I told you this is all you will remember from this blog post.  Apparently, in reality, its not as terrible as it sounds and after your first time, it will be No Biggie.  Also, the bags are leak-proof and smell-proof (which I really hope is true) such that you might almost forget at some point you are carrying a bag full of your own butt nuggets with you.

I will keep you posted.

Pray for me.