Dressed like a sausage on Cumberland Island…..

I am currently wearing, starting from the bottom and working my way up:

• A pair of wool socks
• A pair of silk liner socks
• A hand warmer
• Another pair of wool socks
• Repeat for left foot
• A pair of thermal long johns
• A pair of leggings
• A pair of waterproof rain pants
• A pair of sweatpants (yes, over the top of the rain pants)
• A thermal long sleeve top
• A wool long sleeve top
• Another wool long sleeve top
• A wool sweater
• A puffy vest
• A puffy jacket
• A balaclava
• A hat
• A pair of gloves

I am also currently lying on top of a Thermarest foldable sleeping pad on top of an inflatable sleeping pad, inside a sleeping bag liner, inside a Thermarest quilt, underneath a foil emergency blanket, cradling a Nalgene filled with hot water and stuffed inside a sock.  I have whatever remaining clothes I didn’t manage to squeeze on stuffed inside my quilt (another puffy jacket, waterproof jacket, short sleeve (HA HA) wool top).  I am both wearing, and am encased by, so many layers that my lentil-perfumed farts seem to be taking the long way round to find the gaps and escape, thus acting as some type of dystopian Roman-inspired gas heating system – for which, I confess, I am grateful.

On top of all that, I need a pee.

I haven’t dared look at my watch yet in case its really early – after 5am, then that’s not too long to wait until morning and that’s doable.  Any earlier than that, then the mental anguish starts as you try to will yourself back to sleep before the pressure of your bladder becomes too unbearable and you have to get up and lose whatever warmth you’d managed to retain in your fart cocoon.

You know –  its probably one of those moments to look at your life choices when you find yourself eyeing up a Nalgene bottle as a potential bathroom solution, but maybe I should back up a bit first.  If you haven’t guessed already – I’m camping and hiking again.  This time, I am spending just a few days on Cumberland Island (best known for being the place where JFK Jr married Carolyn Bessette).  I’m here with my regular backpacking outfit, Fitpacking, and this time its not a commercial trip but instead a private one to celebrate the company’s founder, Steve, who is selling the business and passing the baton to one of the guides, Beau.  So this trip is for the other guides, friends and long-standing clients to celebrate/roast Steve and send him off into (semi) retirement in style.  Cumberland Island was picked as the location for the festivities – its a barrier island off the coast of Georgia, about a 45min drive from Jacksonville, Florida and a short ferry ride.  Its full of palm trees and saw palmetto and live oaks with bearded mossy stuff and its picturesque as hell – but, this week, for the first time in decades – its is ACTUALLY snowing.  Yep, that pesky polar vortex that had me happy to be escaping the negative temps in Chicago is also giving Georgia a walloping.  So, its cold.  And its a little alarming when you keep getting emergency weather alerts on your phone and the rangers lay on special boats to take people off the island (the ferries don’t run on a Tues and Weds).

“But Sarah” – I hear you cry – “surely there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad equipment?”  Why, yes – smug reader.  You are absolutely 100% correct.  I had, indeed, checked the weather forecast and seen that it was going to be a bit on the chilly side so, unlike my last backpacking trip to Paria Canyon, this time I had left the jam at home and instead made sure to pack some long pants, including the aforementioned thermals.  At the last moment, I decided to throw in some sweatpants too and I had plenty of wool tops and puffy jackets, so I was all set for layers.  Unfortunately for me, I’ve learned the hard way this week that my Thermarest quilt – which I have loved for the last 3 trips – was absolutely, 100% the wrong choice of sleeping bag for this trip.  One issue is the form factor – its a quilt, not an enclosed bag, so it drapes over the top of you (there is a “footbox” that does enclose your feet).  Normally, this is perfect for me as I sleep hot and tend to really overheat in a regular sleeping bag, so having something that can easily vent (particularly as I’m a side sleeper) is usually a big advantage for me (also – I fart a lot, so its also a safety feature).  Alas, this time, it is proving to be an absolute disaster as the heat is escaping almost as quickly as my flatulence can warm it up.  So, that’s lesson number 1 for this trip.  Lesson #2 is that my sleeping quilt has TWO important numbers on it, not one.  Of course, I know that you need to choose a sleeping bag/quilt/whatever that is properly rated – ie the temperature range that the sleeping bag is suitable for.  There are bags that are specially designed for super cold weather vs those for warmer climates, as well as different shapes and sizes of bags.  Apparently you can even buy bags that are specially designed for women (a bit wider in the hips – rude!).  I had checked the weather and seen that the temps were forecast to go down to mid-30s.  My sleeping quilt was rated to 35 degrees, so I thought it would be totally fine.  What I only learned on this trip, however, is that 1) those numbers are approximate at best and are usually more accurate for men than women but more importantly, 2) that there are TWO important numbers on my sleeping quilt.  While my quilt is rated at 35, that number refers to “Survival” – ie the temperature below which you are at risk of hypothermia.  Right next to it is another number that I hadn’t paid attention too – this one says “45” – this is the temperature for “Comfort”.  So, yep.   My bag is telling me I am going to be cold and NOT comfortable but – hey! – probably won’t get hypothermia overnight but its at its very limits, so it’s not making any promises and don’t even think about blaming it.

So that is my life right now -at least until Thursday.  My first night was pretty uncomfortable but I managed to stay relatively warm last night with the addition of that emergency foil blanket (thank you, Dan!) which was a game changer.  The only downside of adding that on top of my quilt is that, over time, it will make your bag wet as it condenses your body heat.  I did have a panicky moment when I woke up this morning and thought my tent was leaking but no – it was just the condensation from the blanket, just as Dan said it would do.  But it wasn’t too bad and overall, it really helped so no need to worry, Mum, I’ll be fine.

There is also a ranger station/visitor center that the rangers left open and available as a warming station, so that is where I am sitting right now as I write this.  I did manage to get some sleep last night (according to my FitBit) but when you go to bed at 7.30pm cos its cold and dark, then you do tend to wake up on the earlier side.  I woke up just before 5am, ignored my bladder til 6am and then finally admitted defeat and got up and dressed and went to the loo.  It’s now almost 8am, so I’m going to head back to camp – hopefully someone is up and is boiling a pot of water so I can get some coffee and hot oatmeal!

Pics to follow later.